The source of all contention in day to day life, whether it's choosing between coffee and tea, or getting out of bed, is 'why'? One choice may throw you off schedule for the day, while the other may keep you out of touch altogether. Each choice is dictated by our own idiosyncratic justifications, however arbitrary. Often we need only examine why we do things, with respect to other people.
Behavior in a vacuum, is nothing more than integrity, but behavior with an audience is honesty. Every action has consequences independent of our perception, and as such, there's no narrative that can truly change the outcome of our lives; whether its the lies we tell ourselves or others. If we lie to others, we're liars. If we lie to ourselves, we've lost all integrity.
When we consider the true weight of each choice, and objectively examine our means, might we find an alternative to conflict altogether? Is the end of contention, simply the beginning of discussion? Instead of exclaiming at your child, "No! Stop!Don't!", ask them "Why?", and wait patiently for a response, the same way your child waits for their meal, waits for the school bus, or to get tucked in. Every 'why' counts no matter how big you are, because you'll always be looked up to. There're some things we can't choose; We can't all be geese or ducks; but a wing of any feather will certainly fly. It all starts with 'why?'
Yours Untruly,
Dr. Spock
Comments