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  • Writer's pictureWhat Would Dr. Spock Do?

Ask Yourself , Answer Your Children

Updated: Jan 24, 2020

I'm sorry, we're not acquainted. I'm not Dr. Spock.

Dr. Spock was an American Pediatrician and author in the early 60's. However, his work is considered the basis for most contemporary approaches to parenting; The rights of a child are merely enforced by the definition of a minor. However, the spirit of the law is, a child is entitled to be recognized as an individual that can distinguish themselves from their parents and others. There are civilizations that don't have a word for 'I', and they seem to thrive, but in America, some degree of independence and self-sufficiency is necessary for survival. Through no fault of their own, a child's life can become lonely, or isolating, so parents must teach their children to cope, and build community. Parents have active and passive modes, but the style of parenting will ultimately suit the child's needs, not the parents needs. If a parent is to survive, they hardly ever feel as though they're fighting for their own life and not their child's as well. A child will ask the questions that need answering.

Of course there are cases where children don't speak, let alone ask questions. It's highly recommended that parents take an interest in their child's life. If you are to fuss, perhaps keep contention i.e. Arguing, yelling, verbal abuse, away from your children, however if you are to disagree with one another, let it be a discussion about the child. Reaffirm to each other that the child is not at fault, but that whatever issues they're experiencing is your mutual responsibility, and your mutual effort will indicate to the child that they can trust you. If your child trusts you, they will listen. If you teach them that they have the capacity to achieve what they wish to achieve, they'll likely ask you more questions, perhaps no less than what they should achieve.

Now, ask yourself,' what did I want to be when I was a kid?' And answer your children, "That's an excellent question. I don't know what you should be, but I know who you are. If you want to know who you are, you have to do what you love". Your child might walk away satisfied with the response, preparing for the next round of dialogue; if they wanna be Spider man, you know they have what it takes to be a hero. If your child asks what love is, you answer, "Whatever you ask the most questions about".

Yours Truly,

Not Dr. Spock

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